It's Been A While

I'm not sure what has drawn me back here. I am not certain that this will gather readers. I like writing and I like producing. This blogging phase was just that - a phase that the young and vibey went through. Recently I have been thinking of returning, but there was nothing that I wanted to say. Then my thoughts became more clear, less fuzzy, and I realised that there is so much that I want to say but that I do not know *which* of these things to put out into the open.

I want to say that I am hopelessly human, who constantly tries to sit up straight, eat right, drink coffee, is scared to go to public toilets, has been socialised by a friend into despising the sound of slurping, is afraid of balloons, and loves being right. I like being right and everyone else being happy about that, if I'm totally honest. I don't really enjoy being right and no one liking it. That's just awkward for all involved.

I also want to say that teaching children is hard work. The actual work is simple, but keeping yourself together, not losing it completely is hard. It's difficult to not actually pull your hair out. Which I did in one of my lessons. I was very frustrated. It's challenging to keep a smile nailed to your face. It's almost painful to not threateningly smile (not the same one that you nail on) and suggest, icily, that they do what they are told.

But it's also the most tender and beautiful feeling when a chubby four year old slips her hand into yours as you walk them to the bathroom. When you stand outside waiting for them, she presses her head into your leg, and grasps your thigh, begging to be walked back to class in this impossible position. She shrieks with delight as you do, and the others clamber for the same treatment. Sadly you have to teach now and so it's back to business, the soft and edible moments must pass.

Yes.. This is what I felt I had to put down in this space. And I feel at rest now that I have done it.

You've Been Walking Down My Street Again

Thoughts have been haphazardly wondering around my mind. They have no desire to ordered and much prefer to frolick their way into focus whenever it is most inopportune... So I've decided to inflict them upon the cyberworld...

This is a shortish novella of sorts that I started working on quite some time ago that I've been meaning to do something with - who knows what...


Two older ladies were arguing on the side of the road. In the middle of the Transkei, surrounded by goats and a couple of children, these two ladies had their fingers in each other’s faces and mouths were opening and closing at a rapid rate. This was surely an argument of gigantic proportions. Our car passed them and their emotional scene, leaving it forever behind, but I had watched them since coming around the bend. I watched the contours of their faces change as their anger bubbled to the surface. Unfortunately I couldn’t see what happened next although the fight seemed at its pinnacle, but that image of those women raising their voices and pushing each other was ingrained into my memory.

As a photographer I am constantly freezing moments into eternity and as part of believing this romanticised idea I started making mental photographs as well, and normally I am pretty good at remembering every detail if I do say so myself. The theme that attached itself to this picture was offense and brokenness. After making townships and other poverty stricken dwellings of the majority of South Africa’s population my area of special interest I have come to see that offense and brokenness are inextricably linked.

As far as I know, this monster called offense is something that is more often than not a thing that is possessed, and not thrust upon the poor unsuspecting person. We would so like to believe that when we get offended it is the other person’s fault. But it’s not! It happens to be a state of mind that we willingly grasp and cling to our bosoms, cuddling them to ourselves. We become so indignant with the offender; we thoroughly believe that they could be the cause of many of the problems in our lives. In fact, we should tell the whole world about their shortcomings, their failures, and obviously we have to let the whole world know about just how low down and loathsome they are as human beings. They are clearly not worth being friends with. Those two ladies would gladly agree with this.

This is the way that offense operates in our minds. It breeds and presents itself in such a rational and logical manner that it is rarely ever considered wrong. But it is wrong, as it never allows the person who is offended to move on, to forgive. Forgiveness is known by all and sundry to be a soothing balm for a wounded and broken spirit. Obviously then we can see that offense is the disease and forgiveness the medicine. It would incorrect to say that forgiveness is the cure because the creator of forgiveness would be quite put out and thus I point out that God is the cure, and his methods do involve a spot of forgiveness.


So these were my random thoughts - they're quite old now because my thoughts quite clearly have supped on the pleasures of Red Bull... The result is a pandemonium... pure pandemonium I tell you!!

What Shape Is Yours? Any other comments?

I'm sitting at the countertop of a spacious and airy kitchen. Below the kitchen is the front lounge which looks out onto the open sea. Of course the time is half six in the evening and so the light bouncing off the waves is golden and makes the froth look like thickened cream, the type that would adorn a delectable pavlova. I was beginning to think that I would never feel like blogging again but my mind sort of drifted on to the random topic of mouthes and when that happens it is more or less impossible for me to not write it down SOMEWHERE.

I was thinking that the mouth is one of the most fascinating parts of the human body. I like the way they look, the shape of them, what they are used for, and how they can represent so much. But this could be because I am a woman. We can dress them up with any shade of red imaginable, whether it be a light mauve, a flashy pink, or a sultry red. However that is a rather basic description because I have left out the fact that there is first the lip liner, and then the careful and intensely precise practice of placing the exactly perfect shade of lippie in between the outline. Next you blot - we wouldn't want any of the glorious substance to get on to our pearlies would we? Lastly there is the act of glossing. You would think that this would be quite simple but as with lipsticks there is a wide variety of choices. Whilst for lippie you choose between colour, matt, and gloss, with lipgloss there is also shimmer (in different shades of shimmer no less!), vitamin E additives, plumping action, etc... The list is endless. But no matter what type of woman we are, at SOME point we are caught by the rows and rows of different lip adornments! None of us will ever escape this and so we may as well embrace it.

In addition to my being a woman, I also love mouthes because for the better part of my teenage life I had to gaze at them in a manner that made me look like I was obsessed with the person that I was talking to. This was because I was partially deaf and so in order to stop myself from asking people to repeat themselves I learnt to read their lips. I was not an expert (I think it was due to inherent laziness) so I have more or less lost this talent, but I did learn and retain a fascination with mouthes.

We can do so much with them! Aside from talk and eat, lick (especially ice cream) and laugh, we can express a multitude of emotions. In books we supposedly 'purse' our lips together, drawing them together thinly so that the blood disappears leaving two firmly pressed, whitened lines. This is anger. Of course we smile for any sort of positive emotion, but the smile changes and they can mean anything, depending on the person. A half smile could be secretive if you're looking at someone you like, or it could amused, or affectionate, or tired.. The trick is to check the eyes and obviously the personality!

Lastly, mouthes come in such different shapes and sizes, which adds to the fascination and the allure. They can be full - either both top and bottom, or just the top or just the bottom. Or they can be thin. This completely influences a person's face! I think that my mouth is kind of rosebuddish - it's not big but it's full, with a pronounced v-shaped dent at the top. What does yours look like?

I reckon that it is weird that I am posting about this and I could write for ages and ages about it but then people wouldn't bother getting to the end. In order to give this post the spirituality that is so often required for people to think it worthwhile: God made mouthes. He made them sexy, He made them chaste, He made them thoughtful, expressive, utilitarian and as a feature of beauty.

So what do you think about your mouth? What shape is it? What is the shape of your boyfriend's/girlfriend's/bestfriend's/trip's? Who likes to dress it up and who likes to draw them? For such a small feature there sure are a lot things to be said..

It Was Wonderful...

On Monday morning I started writing my last second year exam. It was meant to be a 3hr paper and I walked out in 1 1/2hrs, such was the nature of my desperation to get out of that cesspit called Mullins. But after that exam followed a day and a half that was just... wonderful.

After lunch Dez and I went shopping in the blistering heat. We fetched a parcel from the post office which almost involved the demise of several of the clerks, especially the one that scrutinised Dez's ID photo and then peered at her disbelievingly, and then looked at me with much more hope in his eyes. I will always wonder how Dez managed to put that much venom into one look. But we did get that parcel and I procured a dress!! Excitement abounds for the woman that manages to find a dress that can be worn to many an occasion!!

Shopping ended due to dehydration and extreme overheating. The wonderfulness carried on in the form of a delightful sleep. I awoke to the sounds of a thunder storm, and even then I was not deterred from putting on the some shorts and trekking off to the Great Field for the some frisbee. Followed by touch rugby. Followed by a walk in the rain. I caught up with the beautiful Nina, Kathleen, Lisa and Taryn and we jumped in puddles, ran in the rain and giggled like little children. I think several passersby quickened their pace as Nina proclaimed to all and sundry that Taryn was Darcy and she was Lizzy and they were going to re-enact the ending scene of the movie. Disturbing stuff. We looked like drowned rats!!

The next day I went for tea with Dyl at the Theatre Café. We had Moroccan Mint tea and watched as the clouds brought a few drops of rain, passed and allowed scorching heat to burn the tops of our shoulders. It was the best tea in the history of teas! This was truly a day of tea as Lieschi swung by after lunch and then my trip and I made our to buy a pecan pie for tea with Jamie and his trip. Mike and Sean joined us and then coerced us into playing one of the most epic games of frisbee ever!! This game lasted until 7:30 in the evening. Yay for my wonderful day and a half! I'm telling you, you should always stay behind for at least two days after your exams - there is so much that you can do by way of socialising!!

A Life Grown

This is the time of Rising:

For the sleeping child to awake.

Time for discipline and exploration,

A time of seeking and reaching.

~

This is the time of Loving:

For the daughter to rise up and embrace.

Time for acknowledging and repenting,

A time for listening and obeying.

~

This is the time of Action:

For the young girl to set out anew.

Time for testing waters and heights,

A time for arming and preparation.

~

This is the time of Destiny:

For the woman to step out in faith.

Time for increasing grounds and territory,

A time for fighting and celebrating

VICTORY.